going a mile a minute

Watson told me I "shouldn't have a B in his class" because I have talent. I don't think I have talent. I don't think I have anything worth using or working with for the future. I want to go to art school because I would die in an office job. I want to learn, but I can't make myself feel better about it. I'm so annoyed with myself and my stupid impashence.

There are quite a few thigns that are getting on my nerves lately. One being noise. I want to cry when it get so loud I can't think straight. Another being my friends.. Just the little things people say get me heated. Some of it has been going on for a while now though, talking about the great accomplishments and all that... Then saying their lives suck.

Right now I kind of just want to hang around with my guy friends, the not-asian ones... I need a change, and I need some time away, just like Tom.

I can't think straight period.

I've saved $150... For summer's big trips: NY and Otakon. But I'm going to be spending some of it this weekend either at the mall or Sakura Matsuri.

My goal is to only spend at most $15-20 every week. But I want to buy some summer dresses and stuff. I'm also considering hair extentions? And then there's the SLR I want... I'm so bad with money...

My mother might get me a job as a nanny over the summer working with her boss's nieces/nephews. 50 dollars a day for 4 kids. not bad. Apparently the oldest is 9 or 10 so I won't be too overwhelmed. But the youngest is 4... A girl. And they're all apparently lacking in the kiddie manners department (please, thank-you, burping... how do i correct that? What do i do??).

I'm afraid of cooking for them.

I'm not too bad with kids, I don't think... Four though.... Even though they're supposed to be very active and want to just hang at the pool all day, I'm nervous about watching them all. But it'll be a good source of income, and a good reference for next year's college stuff.

seniorits is effecting everyone... I want summer. I want out of here.