One Year, Three Days attempt 2

Kayso.. I was going to write this on my tumblr.. But midwriting, the screen changed to the tumblr home screen? I love the blogger, for the draft feature, I couldn't recover the 1st draft for some reason. -_-



One year ago I was pure, unexposed to the world of drugs and sex. I was a freshman, My first makeout kiss was with a guy I barely knew, shared on the top floor of the mall parking lot, early September. My mind never chrossed the subjects of drugs, sex, miscarriages, precalculus, field hockey, and all that jazz. I had met Trish, Tom, Vincent, Daniel and Jim, all my now-senior friends, along with people a little older like Amy, Val, and Jade. We all bonded quite strongly and quickly. By this time I had already come out as bisexual, one of my final secrets to my closest friends (not yet to my mother). No questions or anything had been asked, but yes, I'm out of the closet.

I had Samantha, Vy-anh, Leah and Liz; but Tyler was my closest friend. We talked about everything, no matter what. The most daring thing we had done before was sneaking into Sweeney Todd. My passtimes included arguing Mrs. Bellamy in Biology, and walking round my neighborhood, and just being with friends. No idea of the world lurking so close to me. I met Julio about a year ago today.. and we all know where that went. I lost my viriginity to a taken guy, two years older than me in the back of his car. A memory that has plagued me since then has been Mimi saying, almost three days after the incident: "Bed, floor, or shower, those are the best places to lose it, but a car? That's just whorish." I have no idea if that was directed at me, but it still echoes. It's taken me this long to get rid of him, but he's gone, and I feel liberated. Drugs became part of my life around the time Jessica did; my first taste of weed came on my balcony with Jess and Chelsea, not too much later than Julio. Jess and I... That's another story. Our friendship has wained and waxed like the phases of the moon; becoming full and strong when it can be, but fades away just as quick, sadly. I miss her, and all of the firsts I had with her.

Through Jess I met Ven and Jeremiah, my boys, my Manassas family consisted of them and Jessica. Ven my babyboy, and Jeremiah my first love. Always there for me, yet carrying enough baggage for ten people. They taught me to roll with whatever comes my way, and to take in all who need help. They took me in as one of their own, the Wendy to their Lost Boys. My heart goes out to them, and what they endure on a daily basis. The abuse, the hurt, and the pain that is masked by their choices to do drugs and steal cars, fight and drink. No matter where life takes them, my heart still longs for the bonds I had with my boys. J, I never blamed you for the kid, or losing it... To this day I wait for you, J, to fucking call me back, or give me a number. Vinvin, we're getting that apartment, and those tacos.

Summer came and I was restless, switching from schoolwork and lacrosse to doing drugs. My first real drink of alcohol came at a party constructed by a senior friend. The world had been exposed to me, even after all of the comments about college being the place for firsts when I had had my first tastes of alcohol, weed, and sex before my sixteenth birthday. Infamous summer 08 as I call it was in full swing. Parties, sleepovers every night, Atlantic City, freedom. That closeness we shared and the newness of it all made it feel like nothing could stop us.
Drugs come into play October seventh, the day after my birthday, I had my first hits of extacy. I play field hockey at the time, my first season, and all of the cravings for more soonafter seem to phase my psychological performance. More parties come, getting caught, hooking-up. The life I wish I could live unfortunately involved these things. Not because of the illegal activity, but because of how close we were. Willing to open our homes, minds, hearts, wallets, bodies, and lives to new people and experiences. When I think of that summer/the end of 08, I think of the love we had for each other, and the love for adventure and excitement. Like Vy-anh I begin to tear when I hear those playlists and stories from that summer.

It's 09 now and I'm almost finished with sophomore year. New people have come into my life, like everyone's favorite russian, Evelina Voronina; and the freshmen: Tina, Hannah and Alina. Other people have somehow gotten sucked into the mix like Robert and David, who I can't imagine life without now, either; they're part of our little crew right now, so animosity aside, I love them too <3

I can't say life is sweet and good now, like last year was, but back then, I thought life sucked too. Only by looking back do we appreciate what we had.

Right now I'm reaching my goal of 100 days of sobriety (just to prove I can make it... nearly 30 left ^^), and I'm celebate. My days of SIing have almost gone away as well...

Like any teenage girl I'm looking foreward to summer 2009. This is our last year with the Senior class of 09, and with Vy-anh and Jason who aren't going to be around much after this school year is over. Calvin has already left us, and Liz has transferred. Tyler's also gone, and Mimi left before this year even started! She's now moving to Texas...

Three days from now I wish to leave this funk mood I am in, and the person I have been striving to be all of 2009, a person free from the anger that holds me down, someone who can live a day without correcting someone, or regretting. I also promise that by three days from now I will not have neglected this blog, or the group of people I hold dear.

These are the times of our lives my friends...
Let's make the most of them.

if you read this then write your own story, One year ago till today. then include what you want to do 3 days from today. and paste this at the end of your blog so everyone else can do it.

Love always ~<3