Oh how the days go by...

This year has brought on many changes in my life, good and bad. I just wanted to say before I go any farther into this blog that I have had a very good year this year. :D

Stuff that's happened:

- Got closer to people I met last year
- Met new friends
- Got out more
- Got tanner, no more pale-ness xD
- Drama
- No more black hair
- Came-out
- No more long hair
- Red hilights!
- First times
- Blogging
- Ice Cream Man chase
- Midnight sneak in
- NO TEXTING IN CLASS
- JV Field Hockey/Lacrosse :D
- Passed Freshman year~!
- Boyfriends
- No more LJ!
- Children
- Life lessons
- Cab ride alone
- ATLANTIC CITY
- Take the good with the bad
- Secrets
- Beach with Bonnie, Bro and Sis - Sun, sand, shopping, sickness, guitar man xD
- Sweet 16!
- Hay: For "decoration" ...
- Calvin Lin Trend
- 4 AM convos


Resolutions/Hopes for 09:

- Lose weight
- Quit jacks
- Rebuild friendship w/ Jess
- Lower mile time
- Join Swim?
- Lax summer league?
- Pass Soph. year!
- Pick a college major & make pathway.
- Job!
- Buy colorful pants (w/ first paycheck)
- Nikon SLR!
- Be more frugal
- No more "fucking" sentences.
- Spend more time with my friends
- Lisence!
- Self Esteem
- Listen more often
- Guitar lessons? Self Teach?
- LEARN AND STICK TO AN INSTRUMENT
- Play DDR again!
- Become better artist
- Lower procrastination levels
- Work on meeting new people
- Join and/or Re-Start FCHS GSA!
- Write to Sister
- Stay in touch w/ far away friends (esp. Tyler)
- Expert vocals on Rock Band!
- Make it to seventeen years
- Revamp blog and make it a photo-diary :]

...

Dear Daddy,

In May it will be six years since I have seen you. In October I will be seventeen years old. I don't know what or where you have gone to, and I don't know if you can see me or know how I'm doing, but I'm fine. Yes, I'm fine. I don't know if I feel bad or not about not needing you around to be okay. I don't blame you for my depression, I blame my surroundings after what happened. I don't think that what you did or didn't do caused me to do what I did. I don't think that you being here would have changed the outcome at all. I don't think Mom has the right to think and say that stuff. She doesn't know what went on during that time. I do miss you, and I do love you, Daddy. I know that it's going to be hard without you, especially now because Mom refuses to see eye to eye with me. You always did. You always understood me. Mom just yells, and assumes. Never listens. I know that I was just ten when you left, but Mom has always been like that to me.

I know life would be a lot different with you around, and not Mom, or both of you together. That's why I don't really resent you leaving, I like life the way it is now, and I think it took me these six years to realise that. I would be a completely different person if you were still here, and I don't think I'd like being someone else. I don't need anyone to be happy. All I need is myself, and my willingness to try new things. I wish you could see my friends and how happy we are... I'm not who I used to be, Daddy. I grew up a great deal and I know that; Mom knows that, she's scared.

You should see Zach too, Daddy. He's so much older now, but hasn't changed. Everyone says he's like Nathan, and will have matured and grown by eighteen, but I don't really have much faith in him. You always did, though. He misses you too.

I don't really know how to end this in any other way, I've had a good life without you, even though I think about life with you every day.

Love,

Your daughter.



I hope Oh-Nine is just as good, if not better than Oh-Eight. :]
I've been impacted in so many ways by the people I've met throughout this year. I hope that nothing comes between us.

Have a merry Christmas, and if I don't see you a happy New-Year!

Love always <3

CLT: I've come to idolize people who are interesting enough to have their memoirs/biographies published... I want a life like that.