i love him... I do.. I know I do.

Why would I feel this way if I didn't love him???

I did what I did [this time] because it was a once in a lifetime chance. And a chance to get back at julio. I got farther with her than he has. I can't decide if that's a bad thing or a good thing.

I know he'dve thought it was hot. So i'm not all that remorseful about it.
I just want to know why I would do that if I loved him.
I'm so confused.
In my head I want to be with him.
In my heart I can't decide.

I know I won't ever find someone like him. Why am I throwing that away??